Pride and Transparency

One thing in my life I have always struggled with is pride.  Through out a lot of my life things were given to me.  Because of who my brothers were, my athletic gifts, social status, and other things I never really had to work for anything.  I developed this "inner pride" or "false humility".  I would get uncomfortable when ever someone complimented me but in my head I would be like, "duh, I am awesome".  It sounds terrible, but that's how I was.  I would then proceed to point out some minor flaw of mine to maintain an appearance of humility.  But my pride and arrogance where in everything.  They were in how I carried myself, how I spoke and how I treated people.  I thought humility was pointing out a minor flaw to show that Ithought  wasn't perfect.  One of the crazy things is I actually thought I was humble and I didn't like prideful people.  This didn't just last through my years of "doing my own thing".  It also was present in my life seeking after the Lord.  I thought I knew the way to pray, hear from the lord, and how He worked.  Pride always showed up in my life in the sneakiest ways.  When it was finally brought to light, it wrecked me.  I was so in shock that I was prideful and how blind I was to it for all these years.  The Lord really has shown me two powerful ways to combat this in my life.  One is through true humility.  Which is agreeing with what God says, and not just pointing out my faults.  I need to declare who god says I am over my life and walk in that.  That's another blog ha.  The other is through true transparency.  When I wanted an example of what this looked like lived out,  I went to the best source ever, the Bible and Jesus.  I found myself reading about when Jesus is in Gathsemane before his crucifiction.  a few things stood out to me.  He was before the Father pleading that this cup be taken from him, referring to what was to come.  He was so torn he was even sweating blood. But in that moment he said that He wanted His Father's will and that's what mattered.  No matter what is going on in my life, I need to get on my face and be honest before the Lord.  Let him know where I stand and how I feel.  But even more I need to have my heart be for His will before any other, including my own.  Easier said than done.  I believe getting to that place is from just getting to know Him and His will.  Then I will taste how good and perfect His will truly is.  And when hard circumstances or struggles arrive I can take that step of faith that is needed to trust him.  But it takes faith.  The other thing that struck me is that, Jesus had people with him.  He let them be apart of that moment.  That's when it struck me.  My heart is to conform to the image of Christ and be like him, so do what he did. So now when I am in my moment of struggle or hurt, I let people in.  Jesus asked His disciples to watch and pray.  They sort of fell asleep, but that's people.  But the invitation was still there.  I now invite people to watch and pray with me through things that I am going through.  I show people my heart and where I am at so that they can too go before the Lord on my behalf.  The Lord has given me wisdom in this and I don't go around broadcasting everything to the world, but he has really shown me the importance of becoming transparent and the power behind it. 

2 thoughts on “Pride and Transparency

  1. Dane

    thanks brother, that sounds exactly like me, I have recently….slowly …been learning the same thing….so thank you for that and I love you


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