"If you want the promise, you need to enjoy the process." I heard that once in a sermon and it really stuck with me. To me it means that in the process of receiving promise, is when I can experience the true goodness of God and see His character so bright. It's in the process where I get taken from glory to glory, start to look more and more like Him, gain the character that matching the anointing, endure, and so many other things. I have have experienced that so much during this whole ordeal. Every day there are new battles to conquer as well as the old ones that have yet to have been defeated. After each hurdle there is another one. Some days it really feels like I am "jumping out of the frying pan and into the furnace." God's promises over me and this situation are so amazing. Healing and platform to speak into peoples lives are just a couple of the many things He has said over me. Not to mention spending all of eternity with my God and savior, all the things in heaven I am storing up, forever being in His glorious presence, and the inheritance the Bible talks about. All of these are available for all of us, crazy I know. I feel so blessed because I can see some of these things starting to manifest in my life. It is a true honor and blessing. The process of getting there is hard. My original assumption was that I face something, God helps me through it, I get the promise, and then everything is all good. I have come to find out it isn't really like that. "The Lord ’s promises are pure, like silver refined in a furnace, purified SEVEN times over", Psalms 12:6. In my experience I have found that after each victory there is a new battle or purification process. Not to say that God doesn't bless us along the way. He is how I get through each battle and furnace experience. He has been my sustenance through every fight. I have tried to do it on my own but I have fallen short. Any time I have been victorious it has been because of Him. I have really started to see how I have tried to formulate how this thing works. For every furnace experience there is a break through and for every break through there is promise waiting wrapped in a pretty bow. Nice and simple, easy, and something that I can put into a nice equation. But what I am realizing now, is that God's promises over me are pure. I want to be used by Him so badly and often ask to be. I don't think I really knew what I was praying for. What I don't realize is that in order to receive those pure promises over my life, I need to be fully purified. Just because I am going through something hard doesn't mean that another battle isn't coming and it is coming wether the first battle is over or not. I am starting to understand that I can't formulate how God works or how His promises do. I want His promises and to be used by Him in fullness and don't want it half way. And in asking that, I am asking to be purified, not just half way. Purification, battles, struggles or whatever a person might want to call them don't always play nice. They aren't bound to having to take turns or go easy on me because the last one was hard. Ive' found if all I focus on during this time is the promise I won't make it. I have tried that and have gotten frustrated, distracted, and upset with God. The same preacher where I heard about enjoying the process said this, "Don't chase the promise, chase the promiser". I have seen how that is way easier and better than just focusing on the promise. When I do that I stop asking the "why" and "when" questions and am not so complacent. It easier to stay on path and focused on what is right in front of me today. He is how I withstand the purifications and battles. He is the one who gave me the promise, and He is the promise.